I am sorry I have not written or contacted you in such a long time. I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I have simply struggled with how to address an issue that I have not had to deal with in the past.
I want you to know that I have many good memories from my friendship with you that I will never forget. I value your friendship, although the lack of communication from my end may not so indicate. I hope you can forgive me for not contacting you, that you can put my actions behind you and that our friendship can continue.
I have spent almost a year and a half trying to figure out how to address something that one of our mutual friends shared with me just prior to my wife and I getting married. Rather than just calling you and telling you how I felt, I mistakenly chose to avoid it and hence the absence of communication.
You may remember me calling you about two years ago after I was contacted by that mutual friend, who was concerned that you were going through something rough. I called you and asked if everything was okay. You said that you were just a little depressed over the issues with your sister and the rest of your family. However, that call indicated that you had not told the whole truth to me, that you were struggling with the fact that you might be gay. I have no reason to doubt the source of the information, but at the same time I don’t want to assume that was the case.
Ultimately, it does not matter to me whether you are gay or were just struggling with the possibility. My frustration and difficulty was with the fact that you did not tell me of your struggle. We have always shared our various struggles openly. We got about as deep as two teenaged guys get, in talking about struggles with girls, pornography, masturbation, and other topics. When I found out that you did not tell me your struggle when I asked, I was hurt. In hindsight, I wish I would have called you right after I got the call and talked to you.
Now that I’ve expressed my feelings, I want you to know that if you are gay, Dominic, that does not change my desire to continue our friendship. We both know that we have a free will to choose how we will live our lives. I also know that if you are gay, that it drastically changes your relationship with your family, and that it has probably been very difficult for you to deal with.
Finally, again please forgive me. I hope you can understand the feelings I have expressed, that you will contact me, and that we can put this time gap behind us.